The next lamp post. That’s it!

That’s the one where I stop running and start walking. 

Oh walking, how I miss you. How I need you right now.

My lungs need you. They’re screaming – inside my chest.

Running is this combination of one foot after the other.

At its core that’s what it is and what appealed to me.

No equipment, no gym membership, nothing much fancy.

Well except a pair of trainers.

And a sweat-wicking jersey.

Also some running shorts.

And if you run in the UK, running tights too.

Want to carry your phone, ah, running bag!

But I digress.

When Covid hit, sitting at home was imprisonment.

And continuous snacking was force-feeding.

One hour of exercise allowed, you say?

I’m going to ‘Carpe Diem’ that hour!

Well mostly to run off the calories I ate in the past 11 hours.

But you don’t just ‘start running’ do you?

You run-walk or fartlek as the professionals call it.

Run for however long you can, then walk.

Ergo, first paragraph about the screaming lungs.

At some point down the line, you realise the need for structure.

Enter Couch-to-5k! Google it. 

Over time, you get better. That’s what they say.

Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t.

But you most certainly develop an interest in running.

Some do it do get rid of pent up stress,

Others to think over things.

Some to set records,

And some to get out of the house for an hour.

Me? I do it so I can eat more.

And upload those runs to Strava of course!

 As I’ve grown up, a distinct result of my upbringing and personality has been an inability to talk. Be it to others, in a room, in a meeting or even with someone I like. I think the combination of constant self-examination and over-thinking has led to continuous reflection on what I want to speak, even before I have spoken. Most public appearances where I’ve had to engage in small talk or improvise conversations thus have led to a failing in making my presence felt, vocally, even though you’ll notice my appearance in the room.

This constant brooding starts as soon as I enter a space where I know I will have to indulge in some sort of socializing. I enter and immediately look for a corner from where I can get a lay of the land. Next, I glance across at everyone in the room, making note of where the host of the event is and then at the rest of the people there. Spotting familiar faces lends a level of assurance but I find myself thinking about my last interactions with those people and whether I recollect enough about them to take things forward in this setting. Having resigned those familiar faces to a mental note, I continue looking around the room, wondering who I will have to interact with and also whether I’ll have enough context to begin a conversation.

For long I’ve actually wondered if my personality is that of an Introvert or if there’re more to me than that? I say, ‘more to me’ because I have pleasant memories of being in settings or events with plenty of people and actually engaging in fruitful conversation. Yet today these are fewer and further apart than I’d like them to be.

Within the context of work too, it seems the problem just tags along and assumes another form. Even in meetings where I know the topic and the field being discussed, even the slight hint of being unsure draws me back into the over-thinking loop. It fires up by instinct with questions such as, ‘Do you even know what you’re talking about?’, ‘How will everyone judge you for what you’re saying?’, ‘Do you have the authority to speak about that?’, ‘Are you ready if the answer brings along a new question?’. This loop is quite irritative and exhausting, yet to the world I am silent, given the loop is a raging fire in my brain, of course.

If there is an antidote to this behaviour, It either presents itself in situations where I have to present something to a room or in places where I have someone egging me on. When I present, I don a sort of armour that says ‘You know what you’re doing for the next X minutes and they will listen’. That helps; particularly as the fear of unknown is dialled down. I know the topic and I know what I’m speaking about. Moving on, the power of someone egging me on is really contagious. Knowing that I have at least one other ally in the room comes with such a relief that it builds an endurance in knowing that I can speak. 

Looking back at my childhood, I wonder if at any point, doing things differently would have made me a more confident ‘talker’. I realize that being a talker today brings with itself so many benefits – an instant way to disarm someone in a social situation, to get out of trouble, to draw attention and to make a point. Even if you head into the world of business leaders and the examples they set forth – you always spot the most eloquent of people being naturally charismatic. 

I think talking is a life skill, and one that I haven’t really equipped myself with. Watching your words during conversations and fitting them to contexts is important but the general precedent has to be about actually speaking. That’s something I have to strive harder to achieve.

Let’s face it. It’s always plagued Third Culture Kids from time to time. At a date, at a meeting or even an interview – the dreaded – ‘So tell me about yourself. Where are you from?’.  If only the answer could be as clear cut as we wanted it to be.

But Where Are You Really From?

So in the interest of clearing things up, at least on my end, here’s my answer. Don’t worry, I won’t go down the lines of ‘Citizen of the World’. I can’t really claim that given I can still count the countries I’ve visited on my fingers.

I’m from India.
The incredible motherland. The place I’ve grown up owing allegiance to with a pledge that I can still partly recollect. I’m from the country’s smallest state – Goa, though throughout my life I haven’t lived there for more than 30 days at a stretch, my roots live and lie there. I’m also from Bombay Mumbai, where I attended college, have relatives too and made some incredible friendships.

I’m from Oman.
Particularly a small town named Salalah in the Southern state of Dhofar. Born, schooled, fed, brought up and continue to visit the place. It’s earned the title of ‘home town’ from me. The place has influenced my personality quite a bit, particularly its hospitable and kind people. Fun Fact: Salalah and Goa share considerably similar climates owing to which my Dad could never really leave the place once he got there!

I’m from Portugal
Yes this one’s a scoop of news for some who haven’t known it already - on papers I’m a Portuguese national. Owing to both, my grandfather’s lineage and the diplomatic arrangements that arose from Goa being an erstwhile colony of this European sea faring nation. It does worry me that I haven’t visited the country and do not speak the language, but I’m making an honest effort at the latter. I owe it to the country that’s widened my horizons.

So that’s Brian Keith Carvalho for you folks- A Portuguese-Indian born in Oman. 

Do you have a difficult time answering the big ‘from’ question too? I’d love to know how you answer it!

A week back I made another trip to Dubai as my mother was visiting. This time we decided to go to the Dubai Miracle Garden as she's always wanted to see it since quite a while.

These trips to Dubai are often so inspiring as a look at the infrastructure in the Emirate simply tells you that when this shimmering city sets its mind on something, it really does go all the way to achieve it.

Case in point...

A few days back, blogger Lindsey Parry of ArabianNotes.com published a very well-written piece called,
  'Crimes of social media and blogging' stressing on the need for organic growth and stemming hype.

From the brand marketer point of view, I am in agreement to many of the points she raised. It is unfortunate to see the current crop of online celebrities within the UAE resorting to less than ethical standards.

As such, we as a brand usually count in a number of different factors before taking the decision of tying up with a bloggers or Influencers. These include but aren't limited to - Alexa ranking, Klout Score, PTAT statistics on Facebook, Comments on previous reviews/blog posts and interaction on social media (i.e. does the person only promote themself or are they recognized by blogger peer groups too?).

If I could give one tip to those influencers looking to tie-up with brands in 2016, it would be this - GET A WEBSITE. Make sure you own the domain too. None of that XYZ,blogger.com or XYZ.wordpress.com stuff.

This one move gives you so much credibility, it is often what helps us make our decisions regarding tie-ups!

Think about it - however famous you are on social media, your existence on those platforms is largely because they're allowing you to operate there. Facebook allows you to have a page and get those fans. Who knows, tomorrow it may decide that Pages aren't effective anymore and *poof* all the fans you spent eons collecting are gone.

In the meanwhile, when you get a website, you own A to Z of what goes on to you website. Your pageviews are yours to keep. You design it, so you know best about what it might need in the future. You run a competition on your blog - you see the traffic come in and that database grow.

I sure hope this is some food for thought.

Le fin.

Hello from Hamad International Airport, Doha.

Web presence has become an important part of everyone's life today.